The day before Easter Sunday.

I could not sleep last night, and so I went out , took a stroll around early this morning.

I spend and eat when I am feeling down, so, I bought breakfast for meself, and lucky there is still this cafe open on a saturday morning.----The"Monsoon Cafe" again.

Full English Breakfast,but without bacon, because they do it the Halal way, but they do have sausages!! wonder what's in them... ...

Sainsbury's won't open tomorrow, so , better to do shopping today, (and I took some pics as well)

They have something special as for today, gammon shank, (Giant) roasted pork belly, all at very low prices, so I took one each, much to my regret, the roasted pork belly, ah... I thought it going to have a nice crispy crackling, it certainly looks so, but it end up in between my jaws tasting tougher than a wellington boot. ...and it is gigantic, what a waste, so I sliced it and soaked them in teriyaki marinade and in a deep pan on the hob--poaching... ... hope that'll soften them up a bit... ...



Haven't tried the gammon shank yet, I 'll left it to my flatmate to have a go first,hehe... ...



Ah, the Easter, I still remember it's somewhere from a magazine I was reading, talking about the possible origins of this Easter tradition before Christianity, before Christ, it says something like: Easter use to be a Pagan celebration, Easter, relates to the Pagan goddes Estro(if my memory's not failing me), and she's the goddess of spring and symbolises the rebirth of nature... ...and she has something to do with the bunnies...ah.... I wish I can manage to find the artical somehow...


and from yesterday,(or the day before), I have a troublesome sorethroat, I hope drinking hot water with honey and lemon will help...


and I really need to focus on my study now... ..

Got it on last Wednesday, 01/April/2009, April Fool's Day, via Royal Mail.

dried salvia leaves, four packs of 3.5 g each, as I ordered; and to my surprise, a free Sida Cordifolia(which I don't know what it is), 4X800mg capsules, good , I love anything that is free

I don't have a bong, so I followed the acient Mexico Mazatec shamans' way, which is to drink as a kind of tea. put the kettle on, hot water made and the shredded leaves are now brewing.

brownish in colour, just like common cheap Chinese green tea, and it smells a bit liked nutmeg(like the smell of wooden furniture sawdust).....I wondered why, I woundered if this hallucinogen had already casted influence over my brain.

it tastes......bitter, much like the heart of lotus seed, but in a different way, see, with the lotus seed's heart, you taste bitterness, a bitterness that will makes you so sharply focused and , sober, and it's works at the back of your throat whereas the bitterness of the salvia tea... so overwhelming when I had a sip, it for a split of second, took my conscious away, much like my consciousness has blinked the way you blink your eyes. it is this overwhelming , and the bitterness works at the back of your mandible.

the essence(active ingredient) of salvia is poorly absorbed in your stomach, it is main absorbed by the tissue under your tougue(I did do researches before I order),,so keep the juice and the tea leaves in the mouth/under the tougue as long as I can is what I've been suggested and followed.

there is a good guidance on taking salvia, out on the net
http://www.sagewisdom.org/usersguide.html

and they do scaling in terms of the effect you feel, as the whole thing can vary greatly in terms of the growing habitat of the plant, it's preparation method, the way you taking it and your own body chemistry.

and there are six levels , starts with the most gentle:

S: Subtle Effect
A: Altered Perceptions
L: Light Visionary State
V: Vivid Visionary State
I: Immaterial Existance
A: Amnesic

I say I may be at before V , possibly S, or L, I can not be sure.


It feels like...let me put it in this way , I changed my thought/feelings about the concept of stillness and calmness, before I feel it is means your thoughts are calming down, less and less self-acknowledging.

But I was wrong , the mind of a sober person, now as I see it , is like .......image there is this big cat walking in the forest and suddenly met by a giant snake and they were both surprised, both at equal and both in stricking positions but at a safe distance, no one want to turn back and running away, nor to strick first ,in case became predicatable to their enemy.

and so they confront, so they both focusing their attention and holding their breath to death, it so breathtaking that it freezes time.

and now image that the earth, the planet resides no man , no other but this endless pairs of cats and serpents, fully dotted on all of the continents, with each pair a single entity, having its own enemy to focus.

and the whole place is silent, except the sound of heartbeat.
and so is my now feeling of the concept of "sober" and "calm"

and now imaging that the cats , all of the cats , have been taken away, disappeared, vanished; or you can do with the snakes. but either case what you are left with is a kindom of purely one kind, and they shout ,they joy, they loiter; they jump up and down, feeling no fear at all, chatting, chasing, scratching, troating, having fun and making noise.

or hissing, swaying, groping, twisting, turning....whichever way you like it.


and this is what I call a true form of tranquality, this IS the true form of our mind, lots of ideas bubbling up, unlike before. We are sober , because we are too sober, too sober that it overwhelms , overshadows the weak and childish, playful mind of ourselves, too forceful, too ... ...awake.


and what I see or hear during this state? as I am lying on me bed, face up , I hear there is a Lilliputian market place behind me ears, or inside/under the pillow, they talk, chat, chant, laugh, and making all sort of funny noises which I don't recognise, I can't even catch what they are saying , but , they are jolly, they are long been waiting for this very moment, they've been ignored, for too long.

and I feel they are living on Earth and I am the universe somehow, to a lesser extent, and their sound feel quite soft and persuasive, yet warm and overtaking , and I would gladly believe all they have said, I just simply have no intention to doubt, and it feels so sweet and soft and , sunking..........